“I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.” ~ Aldous Huxly
Embarking on a path of change takes courage, patience and fortitude. In order for change to occur and be sustainable we need support and encouragement. Even when we have outside help from family, friends, coaches, counselors, etc., the single most important thing we can do is enlist our own aid and support.
One of the suggestions I offer my clients who want to make changes is to learn to support and encourage themselves. How do we support and encourage ourselves? The first thing to do is access how we’re currently treating ourselves. Listen to your internal dialogue. How do you speak to yourself? Do you call yourself names and put yourself down? Do you put a lot of pressure on yourself, expecting perfection, giving yourself an endless to-do list and then scold yourself for not getting it all done? Do you expect yourself to always be patient and loving even when you’re not feeling it and then reprimand yourself for not being more?
How about offering you some support and encouragement? Give yourself compliments. Value what you contribute. Have patience with yourself. Accept that you are doing the best you can. Stop calling yourself hurtful names. When you feel scared, use words that give courage. When you feel hurt, use words of comfort. When you feel unappreciated, find words of appreciation.
At first, many of us are not aware of our internal dialogue and how we’re not supporting ourselves. We may be aware of the people in our life that are not very kind to us, who don’t support us, who make fun of us, who are always ready to put us down or point out something we should be doing. However, we’re not always conscious of how we often do the same thing to our self.
We teach people how to treat us. Primarily we are vibrational beings. The vibration that we put out is what we bring. The people and circumstances that we attract into our life mirror how we feel about ourselves. Therefore, when we disrespect ourselves in thought and action, we bring disrespect. Every action is preceded by a thought. If you think and speak kindly to yourself, you will in turn act kindly to yourself. When you are kind to yourself, you attract kind people into your experience. It really is pretty simple. What goes around comes around, beginning with our self.
What does this have to do with making changes? Well, as was shared before every action is preceded by a thought. If we are thinking kind thoughts about ourselves, supporting and encouraging ourselves, taking undo pressure off ourselves, we will begin to treat ourselves with respect. We will begin to listen to and respect our physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.
Physically we will begin to listen to our bodies. What does our body need to feel good? We become inclined to eat regular meals, containing nourishing foods that give energy and satisfy our hunger. We begin to want to move our bodies, take a walk, go for a bike ride, take a yoga class, or go out dancing. We rest our bodies when we are tired.
Emotionally we begin to listen to our hearts. What are our emotional needs? What do we need to express? What do we need to learn about ourselves that will help us to heal? Who are the people that can support us in our efforts to take care of our emotional selves? We start to make time to get the support we need.
Spiritually we begin to open up to the reality of the Beauty within. We realize the truth that we are all beautiful creations of the Divine. Each one of us is an important and necessary element in the Divine Plan. We value our body temple for the magnificent creation that it is.
I hope that you take the time today and each day forward to listen to how you are speaking to yourself.
People who love themselves aid and support themselves in words and action.
Begin to treat yourself with respect. Honor and support yourself and I promise you will begin to see profound changes in your life!